Tales from the Diaper Bag

The (Not So) Little Black Dress

This weekend, my husband’s employer had a 30th Anniversary gala (read: an adult prom without the wrist corsage).  It was a nice evening out–my husband cleans up nice in a tux and I got to wear a maternity evening dress!  Yes indeed, they make such things.  All in all, it wasn’t a bad dress, although J. Lo I (very clearly) wasn’t. The dress was black, comfortable and long enough that I could shift from foot to swollen foot without people thinking I was doing the hokey pokey.  I don’t want to be buried in it or anything, but the dress worked. Which is lucky– as there were only about four formal dresses to choose from at my local maternity store.

Of those four dresses– two were downright heinous.  . . but in a sneaky way. They looked just fine on the hangers, but when I tried them on– what a nightmare.  They were skin-tight and showed a really ridiculous amount of leg and-ahem-other body parts. I can’t imagine what heavily pregnant woman would want to wear a dress that showcases everything us preggos hate about pregnancy: weight gain, swollen legs and ankles, and freakishly huge boobs. Yet these dresses pretty much shined a spotlight on ALL of those things. One of the dresses upped the ante by also being made of flesh-colored lace material. GAG! Imagine how I felt seeing myself in THAT under the fluorescent lights of the dressing room. I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or run screaming from the store.

After eliminating half my options I was down to two dresses: the one I bought and another that was fine, but ubber expensive and was just. . .a plain black dress. Blah. Bland. And as I’m pregnant and not entering a nunnery, I limited myself to one dress.

And lest you think that I spent good money for one evening out– would you believe that I have TWO black-tie events during this pregnancy? Oh, yes, I am a lucky, lucky lady.


Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Happy Halloween « Tales from the Diaper Bag pingbacked on 9 years, 7 months ago
  2. Halloween and Formal Event Post-Scripts « Tales from the Diaper Bag pingbacked on 9 years, 7 months ago


  1. * Margaret says:

    Hey! I caught up on your blog and I wanted you to know that I really love it. It’s funny, insightful, clever, blah blah awesomeness-cakes. I wish you would post some pics of yourself so we can all see your belly!

    I also have some more book recommendations for you. I have to admit reading to my kids one day is the thing I am most looking forward to about being a mother, so don’t feel like a nerd or anything for being excited about it!

    Miss Nelson is Missing by Harry G. Allard

    Any of the Little Golden Books (especially the Pokey Little Puppy and The Color Kittens), but some of them are out of print, so get them while the gettin’s good!

    The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

    Babysitters Club by Anne M. Martin (of which I still have like 200 copies)

    The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats

    And check out this list: http://www.kidsreads.com/lists/pic-classic.asp

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 8 months ago

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