Halloween and Formal Event Post-Scripts

Well, I went as Juno to our Halloween party and I STILL looked like a Halloween-Grinch. Despite decking myself out in my my best Juno wardrobe– wearing a striped shirt and hoodie and skirt over my maternity jeans–most people at the party just thought I took a pass from wearing a costume this year. (I actually had a second person ask if I was going as “Pregnant Me” for Halloween.) Drats! Or, more appropriate for the holiday, Boo!  I don’t know what was more depressing–that people thought I wimped out from wearing a costume or that they thought the ridiculous clothes I was wearing were my street clothes.  Seriously, folks- I’m in my late 20s. Why would I wear this? Why would anyone over the age of 14?

 

The very next day I went to a black-tie wedding in my maternity formal gown and, horror or horrors, the zipper broke. Not a little, A LOT.  I had noticed when I bought the dress that the side zipper had a tough time zipping up through the portion of the dress that had heavy beading. Still, I zipped it up fine when I bought the dress and a month ago at my husband’s work event. . .but last night, the zipper finally bit the dust.  What occurred was a perfect storm of crappy luck and stupidity. I couldn’t get the zipper to work on my own and as we were running late, I enlisted the help of my husband. He and I tried to force the zipper up using brute force.  That made the zipper split a little.  We then tried to force the zipper back down–again, using the brute force that had already served us so well–and that SHREDDED the zipper and left my whole left side exposed. I had nothing. else. to. wear. Cue hysterical laughter/tears and make-up running down my face a la Tammy Faye. 

My husband ended up using safety pins and a mini desk stapler to get the dress pulled together. The final product was. . .not good. I had one ugly Franken-dress. Consequently, I had to wear a wrap all night long. I also kept my left arm self-consciously down at my side most of the night. . .which didn’t so much hide my dress as make me look like I had suffered a stroke and lost the use of my arm.  Man, I am soooo glad THAT event was documented by a professional photographer.

So, the lesson from this weekend: getting dressed up for an evening out while pregnant stinks. Big time.

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